I am a HUGE advocate and lover of spoken word, poetry, film, theatre, dance, music... basically anything to do with the arts!
Since I was a young girl, writing in my song book which really was one of my school books that I took from the teacher's cupboards, I would fill it with words, poems and songs about love ... those were the days.
SO...
Last night I attended an event by the Artistic Directors Of The Future entitled "Black Lives : Black Words" which consisted of a TEDx talk named "Innovate! Innovate F**K S**t Up!" by Remi Graves, Taio Lawson and Omar El-Khairy discussing the future and constraints of black theatre, the evolution of jazz, storytelling, and the importance of a hub for black production and theatre. We were then taken to the theatre to see 10 AMAZING Performances from various BAME playwrights and directors. The two plays that really resonated with me was "Timbucktu" by Ryan Calais-Cameron and "Manifesto" by Courttia Newland.
During the talk, Remi Graves spoke about three particular spoken word artists that have revolutionised the spoken word and gone against the norm. I am ALL FOR people that put a middle finger up to social norms and are unapologetically themselves. This one particular artist named Koleka Putuma spoke..to...my...soul. She is a South African artist, arts facilitator and theatre practitioner as well as the 2014 South African Slam National Champion.
Her piece entitled "Water" was originally performed at a TEDx talk who then purposely removed this piece from her performance and when you watch this...I'm sure you will be able to see the reason why!
I absolutely LOVE this piece and it has really shifted my thoughts and made me aware of my own personal relationship with water.
SO... sit back, avert ALL your attention to every word this piece is saying and click your fingers, shout like I did and connect to this piece!
#ClickAndConnect
I have decided to add onto my blog a piece regularly that is thought provoking, makes me laugh, cry, angry or scream at my screen in adoration.
I also welcome if you know of any particular events surrounding the arts to PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I will do everything I can to attend, promote and support. I coined the term #ClickAndConnect because that's exactly what I want you guys to be able to do not just with my blogs but with each other.
I love being to connect with like minded.real,down to earth individual so stop being antisocial or shy and holla me or email me directly at vexinthecityuk@gmail.com
Comment below what you think about this piece, share with your friends and family, and importantly subscribe to my blog if you would like to see more!
As my birthday approaches (16th March in case you want to know and presents would be welcomed hehe) it's crazy to think how many of us envisioned being married by 25. If I had indeed got married at that age, I would have no doubt ended up on TV with Judge Lynn Toler on Divorce Court arguing with my partner and humming like Deitra Hicks trying to keep my CRB clean and not punch him in his Adam's apple.
To think I would be ready for marriage at the age of 25 is absolutely RIDICULOUS
Now,
Before you all chew me up, those that have indeed got married at a young age you have every right to get married when you choose to, after all I don't pay your bills and I do not judge those that do.
Furthermore, from a historical viewpoint many of our grandparents were married at a young age and are still rocking that old school love which I aspire to have myself one day. We are however, living in a different time and era. The reason why I think being married at 25 would have been a mistake for me is simply due to the fact that at 25 personally I did not know myself completely.
What the hell is she talking about?
I loved being 25 you're in the mid twenties so you don't feel like an absolute baby but you're beginning to grow into your womanhood. You begin to become appreciative of the small things that as a teenager and young adult you sometimes missed because you were too busy turning up, going out, living life, drunk, hungover, enjoying freedom from the studying etc. Turning 25 is when most truly ask themselves "where do I want to be in 5 years?".
You begin to actually plan your life...no seriously you realise that you can't be living everyday like your name is Peter Pan and you're going to live forever, this is not Neverland, this is EARTH.
Now, nearly 4 years later I have questioned many times the difference between the
man I want..and the man I need
If your friends asked you what your ideal man is you would be able to say it without a second thought or a pause for breath from A to Z . You would be able to say what he would looked like, where he worked, what he would do for you, how tall he would be, and all the traits that you would love and of course his penis would be HEAVENLY... you wouldn't say that last point aloud but you damn sure would be thinking it.
From childhood we've been conditioned to whole "Prince Charming" complex and we have many Male Crush Mondays to Fridays that we lust over via social media or as our screensavers, don't act like you haven't!
Sometimes the men I have chosen to be with have been... questionable stupid as fuck, there are particular ones I feel like slapping the crap out of myself over, and one that completely makes my nipples go in. But nevertheless it's been an interesting learning curve for myself and alcohol has been very therapeutic for me when these instances has happened. Kiss my ass so what!
However a few years ago after reading "The Five Love Languages" it highlighted the importance of how I needed to be love in particular, the type of acts that communicated that someone loved me and made me feel like I'm the only girl in the world *starts singing Rihanna's song*
One thing that unfortunately that I am seeing less and less of, is the importance of consistency with a relationship.
Consistency connotes several things within a relationship (get your glass of wine because I'm about to start preaching)
It says to your partner that you are aware of your commitment and active participation within that relationship. You understand your responsibility for not only your happiness but your partners, you now have to learn about everything good, bad and ugly of your partner in order to know how much they rely on you for emotional support, advice, stability, reliability, happiness and some good loving to make them unable to walk for a good 10 minutes or formulate a sentence...just saying.
When a person is consistent, it immediately makes you feel that the person is someone that you can depend on. In the world of work, they are not going to give someone the job that they think is not going to be able to get it done.
So why would you get into a relationship with someone that you can't trust will follow through with not just words but action?
Many people have speeches better than Obama himself of what they WOULD do for you if they were in a relationship with you. At first when you are dating and getting to know each other it's all flowers, fairies and fucking glitter and think you've found this amazing person who is feeding your ego with compliments and all the plans they have for you in the future. You try your best not to get excited from just all the sweet talk and your fan fan is doing backflips in your knickers when the person is vocal about how much they like you which just adds to your womb pressure and you can't wait to see them again.
In the early days of the relationship both sides are trying to show off their best qualities to impress each other as well as keep each other keen, because let's be real competition is fierce out there but we all have things about us that make us special and you best tap into your awesomeness and be aware of what you bring into a relationship before you get into one. Better yet, I encourage you to think about
1. What attributes do you bring into a relationship?
2. What do you think your partner sees in you when in a relationship?
3. How do you ensure that you are being an active boyfriend/girlfriend?
4. How do you maintain the balance between your own happiness and your partners happiness?
5. What do you need from your partner within a relationship?
Unfortunately some begin to become lazy or complacent within the relationship. I don't understand why it becomes so hard to MEAN WHAT YOU SAY! I forget nothing...well not intentionally anyway! I'm getting older so sometimes my memory is a bit of a myth but thanks to modern technology it keeps a log of texts and WhatsApp messages so the evidence is always logged on the things we both have said, it's like having your own personal PA without asking!
A partner has no choice but to take your word in the beginning stages of your relationship mostly because they are still getting to know you. So when you are being told that you're a spontaneous person who likes to go out regularly with your partner doing different things, additionally if we've had several active dates and then 6 months down the line I feel like I have to force you to even be asked to go to the bottom of my road to go to Nandos with me ...it makes you question the person you really are.
Now...
No one is perfect, we all have lives to lead and sometimes we wish that we could more but circumstances and life gets in the way which can throw you off completely. So there will be times when you let your partner down and you have to cancel plans you've made. It's annoying as hell but it comes with the territory.
However, when your inconsistency becomes a regular occurrence it is picked up on and it makes your partner start to look at your with a side eye...literally. You will begin to look at your partner in a completely different way and start to question not only what they say to you currently but what you have to them beforehand. And let me tell you something for free...when a person starts questioning your character it's not...a...good...thing...ever.
Inconsistency can also lead to someone starting to resent you and not like you as a person...and eventually not even being sexually attractive to you...unless you have that GOOD GOOD in the bedroom, it seems many people don't have no issue with being consistent in THAT area though!! I'm just saying.
It's even more of a headache when you have an inconsistent partner in your life but they can blow your BACK OUT every....single...time. I can not express how frustrating that is and I'm not going to lie good sex is hard to walk away from...excuse the pun but it's true. If the only thing you can make happy is my kitty cat...then we have problems my friend!
Furthermore even after you feel like your partner has moved your ovaries into your intestines you then start thinking about what is lacking within your relationship and how your needs are still not being met which causes you to feel even more unhappy. Unhappiness and a sore womb is never a good combination.
Telling your partner that you aren't happy is never an easy conversation to have, no matter how much you try to butter it up and put a cherry on top. However it is imperative to be able to stand up for yourself and say what you want because no one wants complacency within a relationship. As humans we are not natural mind readers but when you truly know your partner you can go off their body language, signals, or vibes to see when something isn't right and some choose to ignore that purposely because they don't want to have the conversation about what the issues are within their relationship. If a partner truly cares about your feelings and how they've made you feel,then it will take them listening to what you have to say, taking it on board and acknowledging what they need to do to get your relationship back on track and to make it grow stronger in the long run.
As a person with a HUGE amount of pride, being told that I'm not doing something right angers my spirit. It's not that I'm a perfectionist...but I don't like knowing that my actions have knowingly or unknowingly hurt someone's feelings. Besides I think I'm a FRIGGING AWESOME GIRLFRIEND KISS MY ASS SO WHAT!
But...
You are not going out with yourself therefore a person's perception about you is going to be different. Your maturity will decipher whether you take their criticisms on board or you choose to stay in your old ways to test how long that person will put up with that...and eventually they won't because everyone has a breaking point.
As I approach my 29th birthday and continue to not be dickstracted, I've realised that consistency has to be a foundation for any relationship or friendship that I have. My friend circle is small because I know who I can continuously rely upon and I will hold my next partner to the same regard. So until then, I will continue to go to what always makes me happy God, family, friends, music, UFC fight night, alcohol, ice-cream, Scandal, How To Get Away With Murder, and my beloved ratchet programs to just name a few!
Feel free to comment below on the 5 questions I posed in this blog would love to hear your opinion!
Don't forget to subscribe to my blog here and share with everyone!
Just touched down from Amsterdam, had a crazy 48 hours with my friend but we had ALOT of fun with a bottle of Ciroc Pineapple to keep us warm!!!
If you want to find out how I managed to book this trip for £150 and only spent £90 across the three days we were there, including our travel and food then subscribe to my website now by clicking here!
Where did the week go? I've blinked my eyes and Valentines is already on the horizon!
I am happy to tell you all, that I do NOT have a Valentines *yayy* ...
Fu*k a Valentines that is my motto!
But before I sound like a bitter single betch, I have compiled a Valentines Date for those that have been lucky to secure a boo or are in a relationship and going out. If you are single like moi..go out with your girls or spend it however you choose to because it all starts with SELF LOVE DAMN IT!
NOW...
Before you question whether I'm going to a date or a funeral, I like this outfit because it's simple but sexy and I think the heels add a nice pop of colour, I would imagine wearing this for a dinner date or a bar. Sometimes less is more and you don't need to show the cleavage everyday! If you have big breasts like myself...sometimes we don't even have that choice it is made for us *sigh*
2) The accessories, make up and heels you decide to wear will always give your outfit a splash of sexiness
3) It's a slimming colour
4) You can never have enough black items in your wardrobe..even if it does make you look like you work in a funeral home
5) It makes me look slim ... Kiss my ass so what!
I recall seeing a similar dress worn by Marlo in "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" and in my head I thought "ohhh that's a sexy dress" so I was very happy when I saw this on Missguided and I bussed a little bumflick on my couch and immediately added it to my basket without hesitation!
The cut-out detail immediately attracts you eyes for all the right reason, I would recommend not wearing a necklace with this, but instead add some bracelets and rings, a small clutch will also do the trick too!
Along with this sexy dress I found these gorgeous heels...
I have several pairs of "Barely There" heels, as they are simplistic, high but hella sexy! There's not a single time I've worn a pair of them and not been complimented on them!
These are again from MissguidedI love that the tassel give the heels a little sexy element as a thickems myself, it's only right that my heels have a little fluff element to them too! Ladies just a little word of advice there's nothing sexier than making your boo untie and takes these off you after a night out with them..you're welcome!
These heels are available in many different colours on the website, so why not have a look and pick the perfect pair..or 2!
If you want to add a little sauce, spice and everything nice to your sex life. Then why not purchase a Love Box from the Ooh Collection . This particular box has lots of little tricks to keep you and your partner up all night and a night to remember.
The "Let Me Entertain You" box is perfectly named as it is geared for both the male and female to ensure that the intimacy is heightened.
The box contains:
Natural & Succulent Strawberry Condoms and Dots and Ribs Condoms
ID Glide and Pleasure Lubricant Gel 12ml
Bullet Vibrator (for her)
Vibrating Pleasure Ring (for him)
Kiss Me In The Dark - Satin Blindfold
Stroke Me Please - Feather Tickler
Dice Game
Love Commands
Popping Candy
As you can see, this collection has you in mind to make your night fun, flirty and full of *coughs*. The great thing is, if you so choose, you can continue to use the items within your love box for many different nights better yet..who needs an excuse?
Let me be real, I'm currently going cold turkey with H&M purchases, as my addiction to their store and buying things online has got out of hand. H&M have got into the swing of Valentines Day and have highlighted their lingerie selection on their website. H&M have done a fantastic job in the last few years of including bigger sizes because they realise that thickems like to look sexy too!
This brief and lace bra top go up to size 18 *busses a bumflick* which means we can all strut out stuff along to some Ciara "Body Party" music.
The lace top if you dare can be worn under a blazer with a high waisted skirt if you want to man your man dribble at the table whilst you eat at a restaurant with dim lights. You don't want your nipples for everyone to see..that's not cute. Furthermore, you can wear this set underneath a sexy dress for when you get back home to be dessert for your man ...yeah I said it!
The lace panels ensure that not everything is shown, however it shows just the right amount of flesh to make you feel fantabulous and sexy!
Not only do they have a plethora of watch designs and faces on their website, what really makes Cluse watches stand out are the facts that the straps are interchangeable making the possibilities endless to suit what you are wearing!
The "La Boheme Gold Black" oozes sexy and simplistic, with a 38mm diameter it will sit on your wrist perfectly and is hard not to notice!
I love the gold and black design and you are able to change the straps to either dress it up at night or keep it simple for your 9-5 workplace.
SO....
Let me know what you think of this Valentines Date Wish List, especially if you purchase an item that I have recommended! Drop a comment below and spread the word
*NEWSFLASH*
I will be attending many events for next week and would love to have some company! If you would like to join me, then sign up to my brand spanking new website at www.deliarene.com and join what I have called my "Rene-gades" (see what I did there?) I will be going to many different events and even hosting some of my own and would love for you awesome readers to join my clique and start a movement! The events will be going out exclusively to those that sign up to my website so don't miss out!
As we all know...cuffing season is in FULL effect! I have already been victim to many trying to become a dickstraction BUT I HAVE REMAINED FOCUSED!
*applauds for my vagina*
SO...
As we all are aware, Valentines Day is fast approaching so I thought I would just give a quick wish list of things that have caught my eye and as you guys have already made my wish come true by ensuring that I have been shortlisted for the UK Blog Awards in the Dating Category *bumflicks*
I thought let's keep the positivity going and who knows...someone might feel generous and want to buy it for moi!
1. Wilma Raccoon Fur Heels
I am in love with these heels courtesy of Rosina Savagenot only are they absolutely GORGEOUS, the heels have genuine raccoon fur, yes you read right..sorry for your PETA warriors on my blog but these if a raccoon has to die for this...at least they are going out in style!
Kiss my ass so what!
These heels can be worn both during the day and night and they make a bold statement which suits everyone that reads my blogs in the first place because you're all dope as fu*k!
Rosina Savage shoes are made to measure which further compliments its uniqueness and ensures high quality as if you needed more reason to love these shoes like I do! And fellas, what better way to impress the lady in your life buy buying her a bespoke made to measure heels that she can wear in and out of the bedroom *winks*
2. Love Layla Designs
I came across these card designs by Love Layla on my Facebook News Feed and every single card made me crack up because they are witty, honest and unique!
As you can see from this card I chosen it is still and let's your date know what't NOT going to be happening on that night or any other night for that fact.
Love Layla have a plethora of card designs for all occasions and events so even if you don't have a Valentines or you just to make someone laugh I highly recommend that you buy a card from these ladies!
3. Amelia Real Sterliving Bracelet and Earrings Set
I am a Warren Jamesaddict and when I saw this, my eyes opened and I smiled like a Chesire cat. There is the infamous saying "diamonds are girl's best friend" and that indeed is true. But let's be honest, diamonds can't be my best friend when I have rent and bills to take care of so Cubic Zirconia does the job for me nicely!
The reason I am a fan of Warren James is because
1) They always have a sale on
2) The jewellery is of top quality and lasts for years (my ring has lasted 10 years and counting and has not lost it's shine at all, people are always asking me if I'm engaged..no I'm not..thanks for reminding me)
This gorgeous set should be worn on a night out somewhere to really make you feel like Beyonce and make sure that your date is looking at something else APART from your breasts and booty...just saying.
I will be updating you regularly anything that I can see that catches my eye and makes me look for my bank card!
If there's anything that you have seen that you like or you create things yourself drop me a comment below to see if you're featured on my wish list next time!!!
Don't forget to sign up to my blog on your right hand side..do it now WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!
The voting has officially opened for the UK Blog Awards 2016 and "Vex In The City" has been entered in the Dating category! Woop woop !
SO...
I need you all to vote for me and tell your mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, aunty, friend, pet dog and anyone else with an email to cast a vote for my blog!
I'm really excited to be entered in this Blog Awards and would love to be present in my fabulous dress and 2 2 heels for the awards evening!
Let's win and celebrate this together! WINE FOR EVERYBODY WOOHOO (or if you're not a lightweight like me then I would definitely suggest a bottle of rum hehe)
The public vote officially closes at Monday 29th January 2016 at 9pm, you may vote using the same email address more than once, BUT on separate days, so feel free to vote every day..that would be awesome (big grins)
I really appreciate the love and support from you all and for you taking the time out to vote for me, it's really quick and easy to do, just click on the picture below and it will direct you to the voting form!
