FlashBACK away from ME!

Hey, I wanted to pose a question to you guys, just to clarify that I’m not crazy (which I’m not…seriously) and also to see whether this is happening to you guys as well.

SO...

Is it JUST me or recently have you experienced that someone (or more maybe more than one person)  you used to date or have sexual relationships with want to all of a sudden remember that you exist?

It could have been a few months ago or even a good year but it’s like they have just come out of a coma and then want to be speaking to you.

I can understand that time does fly and that whilst people separate and do their own thing it’s to be expected.

BUT…

The killer is, when these flashbacks want to speak to you and then think that they can just pick up where they left off!

I’m sorry, but am I mug? Do I have “Made In Taiwan” on my backside? Don’t upset my ovaries please. This is NOT Quantum Leap or Back to the Future. Just because I had feelings for you doesn’t mean that I still have them now!

Let me just give you an example of a conversation one of these “flashbacks” wanted to try to say to me (you got your drink and biscuits... ok...)

Flashback: So you forgotten about me yeah?

Miss Vexy: What makes you say that?

Flashback: You don’t holler at me no more, don’t show me no love… like I’ve done you something. And I’ve seen you around you’re looking real sexy hun.

Miss Vexy: Stop sniffing crack, when I see you I say hello and if were in a bar we’ve danced together so what more love do you want?

Flashback: I remember how we were back in the day, dunno what happened you just dropped me, ease me up?

Miss Vexy: Let’s keep it real please, I did not drop you, we were seeing each other and then we weren’t it as simple as that we were on different pages...

Flashback: So what you saying that you don’t want me no more?

*sigh*

Can we just be serious for a minute? Instead of him being REAL and just saying that he missed me and possibly wanted to start things over again, this clownface wants to holler at me and act like it’s my fault and I’ve done something to him.

Really?

This is the kind of crap that gets me irate! Let me just break it down to everyone:

·         You do NOT holler at me when you feel like it (usually through boredom/horniness/ recent break up)

·         You do NOT try to make it out like I’m the one that’s still on YOU because then I will embarrass you.

·         You do NOT assume that you can simply pick up where you left off (ESPECIALLY when it comes to boombla, you need to WORK for this loving just like you had to back then, this is not Monopoly and you do not have a get out of jail free card)

·         You do NOT try to spit game to me, real recognizes real!

Let’s keep it 100% we are all adults here, there are times and people that sex game was on point and yes you do miss it at times, especially when your horny! There are times when even though you are not together any more when horny times call they are a call/ping/text away. No strings attached and you both just keep it moving.

BUT…

This kind of relationship has not been agreed with BOTH partners then do not gas yourself up! And don’t try and go down memory lane (again usually a sexual one) and then try to feed me sexual compliments for e.g. “your lips are so soft when we were kissing” sorry is your name Drake?  Or “I miss feeling your body against mine” sorry am I supposed to care? How about you miss it even MORE!

By feeding me sexual compliments, clearly shows me what level you are on and what you want and sorry mate that will make me want to sleep with you again even LESS! Like the song goes “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone”, if you and the person had a genuinely LOVING and DEEP relationship, and after breaking up you realize that you are still deeply in love with that person and want to try again then that’s fine!  But because you see me and I’m looking good you feel all territorial and want to try and claim me, sorry I’m not  a product and if I was your warranty finished a long time ago!

The killer is, you can tell from a mile off when someone is trying to run game on you, so you only end up making yourself look like a desperate IDIOT and your feelings do not sound genuine. If you want something to love, get a pet, or how about you read a BOOK with your retarded self! Or better yet why don’t you spend more time and concentration on your CHILDREN (yeah I went there! Kiss my ass so WHAT!)

You are NOT Michael Jackson and this is not “do you remember the time”, so please take yourself of gas mark 9, step back from the stove and come back to reality!

It’s 2011 and I like meeting new people and to put it really bluntly I don’t like recycled penis!

Ya Digg?