Sunday, 31 October 2010

Bi-Weekly Periods

This one is directed to the ladies because I know we love to complain about men and their bullshit but we're not exactly innocent ourselves!!!
Once again, you know I'm gonna keep it real and paint the scenario (take a deep sip of a drink right now)
OK....
Ladies, imagine your alone with a guy and you and this guy get on really well, you like him but not in a way that you want to be with him exclusively, you can tell that he likes you (its emotional) but either way you enjoy his company. You've got to the point where you've both talked as much as you could and the conversation somehow (as always) turns sexual or he tries to make a move on you.
Now remember you're not on him like that, this situation could go in 2 directions
Situation A
You shut him down as quick as Woolworth's and tell him straight that's not that kinda party and you're not feeling him like that (its emotional,don't laugh)
Situation B
You give in and do a thing (that's political and STUPID!!)
Situation C
You use the oldest trick in the book and that you're on you're period (if you're laughing at this situation its because you know you've done this yourself, can I get a witness!?)
Ladies,
Do NOT lie because even if you haven't used the line yourself, you sure as hell know someone that has (swear down). Ladies you know as soon as you say the word "period" its GAME OVER for the night (don't laugh, unless your 1 of them men that don't care if she is on her reds, that's disturbing) There are different reasons why you lie:
a) You ain't got the heart to tell the boy straight up that your not on them, so its an easy cop out.
b)You're just REALLY not in a sexual mood (not with him anyway)
c)You've already had your daggering from someone else or planning to get some when he leaves!
Now fellas, I'm not necessarily saying that if a girl says this to you that she's straight up lying sometimes she's GENUINELY on her period, & you just have to wait a couple of days till its all over (& i mean ALL clear, don't laugh)
But ladies, do NOT abuse the line to often because guys are not as slow as they used to be (sorry but its true) because they do start making mental notes of when your on your reds and they know we can only have 1 period a month.
You know I keep it real, I have used this line before (sorry fellas) but I've realised in the long run its just better to tell someone the truth then lie about it.
Ladies be real with your shit and tell the truth when you're not on it, it saves alot of time and energy, because you don't like it when you're in the mood for some nookie and can't get none!
YA DIGG???

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