Sunday, 3 January 2016

No #DICKStractions in 2016 !!!

Happy New Year Vexers & Vexettes!

Hope you had an alcohol-fuelled turned up night as much I did! I had a pyjama party/drink up/turn up/ damn I'm the one that has to clean and mop after all these mofo's but nevertheless it was an epic night and I came home with 3 bags full of alcohol.
Who doesn't needs to go bar or buy drinks for at least 3 months? ME THAT's WHO!

We are a few days into 2016, and I can feel it in my ovaries that is going to be an epic year. I know that sounds so cliche, but I really do have a great feeling about this year for not just myself but for many people and obviously for you guys the dopest, realest readers that a woman like me could ever ask for!

Traditionally I write down what I would like to achieve within that year, I pray over them and thank God for the year I've had and also for the personal triumphs and trials that he has assisted me with and then I put the work in to make as many of them happen! Looking back at my goals from 2015, I achieved almost half of them which I was pleasantly surprised at!
Busses a bumflick and looks at my booty as I do it! 
(for those that still don't know what a bumflick has now been renamed as "twerking" thanks to ratchet shows and Americans but us Caribbean women have always called it're welcome)

So last night, I cranked out a new notebook and wrote my goals for 2016, this year I decided to break them down into three categories:

Firstly let me be Save? For why? I live alone in West London and I'm hugely independent and don't ask anyone for anything! Furthermore my bills don't give me the option to save! My expenses are REAL and I'm so grateful to be in job that pays good...ok it pays well.. well good enough for my to pay all my bills and not have to live on bread and water for the rest of the month. Don't get me wrong I am extremely grateful to even have a job as a woman with a serious H&M addiction and a love of heels and trainers...there's nothing wrong with wanting a little more right? Kiss my ass so what!
So a MAJOR goal for me this year is to save! After careful calculations of my expenditures my eyes nearly dropped out of its eye socket when I realise how much I could potentially be saving every month! I wanted to backhand myself, I even said outloud "What? That can't be right?" and went over my calculations three times to make sure I was right.
If you are not aware there is a now a " 365 Penny Challenge" going around on social media that my friends and I have decided to participate in. It seems pretty simple and those that know me well, know how much I love a bargain and to save my coins when I can. So when I saw the word "penny' I was immediately like YES!
I will also be doing another which is called the "52 Week Money Challenge" to again help me save money, especially as I want to close to becoming a full time writer/entrepreneur.
I encourage as many of you who are like me wanting to save to join in as well! Let's all save together and celebrate by the end of 2016 yaaassss (you can tell I'm a little excited).

Building my brand and company is a major focus for me this year as I've been feeling for quite a while that I do not want to work for other people but myself. To be able to support myself and have something of my own is imperative for me, it's just not in my DNA to continue doing the same 9-5, well technically it's 8 to whatever time I finish my paperwork to then come home and work on Vex In The City, my scripts and ideas. It's through God alone that I haven't been fired as my temper and mouth should be illegal I swear to you but I am good at my job and they know this lol. As much as I absolutely LOVE working with students it has been the most rewarding, challenging, stressful but unique jobs that you could ever ask for, I realise that my love and passion to have my own company supersedes that. I aim to still work with teenagers and empower and teach them because they have taught me so much about myself and the amount of times they have saved my Powerpoints presentations or taught me about technology is unreal that's why I love being a Head Of Year 11! 

Lastly, this is where the #NoDickstractions terminology has come into play because I know you've been wondering! 
A few months ago, I ended a long term relationship..and it flipping hurt. It wasn't an easy decision but for the sake of my sanity and happiness it had to be done. Behind this loud mouth and big smile I'm actually sensitive as hell and I always put my partner before myself. Which lead to me feeling unhappy, not good enough and frustrated as hell. I'm not trying to make it out like he was a complete asshole because he wasn't, loving me takes a lot of patience and understanding but fuck it I am awesome and the right person will understand that! 
Luckily we had such a good friendship that when things ended somewhat amicably it was important that I was still able to maintain our friendship as I value him as a friend so much. 
As we enter 2016, I am on the cusp of turning 30 (takes a deep breath) and being the hopeless romantic I am, the ridiculous amount of engagements and pregnancies which felt like a stab in my heart as I painfully smiled and congratulated all my friends because I love seeing real love happen for those around me but in the back of my head had me saying "Really do you want me to that old woman with a cat and no children..and you know I don't even like pets so it's going to have to be something simple like a Goldfish, the last time I one I accidentally killed..R.I.P Ciroc" 
But a major lesson for me last year was I realised that everything happens in God's timing, and I really don't have the best judgment when it comes to men.  
For the first time ever, I've not made finding a partner a goal of mine. In 2015 I wrote that I wanted to fall in love and I did, but I lost the love I had for myself in the process. Now, I have insecurities and hang ups  and that's not my ex's fault because he loved my body and all that jazz but these were things that I never addressed within myself which needs to be as soon as possible. 
So when I say #NoDickstractions what I mean is that I will allow the universe and my faith in God to present me with the right man IF and WHEN they see fit or when it's the right time. When I get into a relationship I easily get dickstracted (see the word play) and I really have to stay focused and need to be supported as I complete my goals and when that happens it will be as if Shonda Rhimes herself wrote our love story. 
Another thing I've realised whilst I was on my trip in Amsterdam, was sometimes if you see a guy that tickles your fanny..I mean fancy, that it doesn't hurt to smile and say hello! It doesn't mean it will always end with you getting a number or date but life is too short to be sitting there acting like Beyonce waiting for every guy to approach you and offer you the world! But I don't handle rejection well, if I asked a guy for a date and he's rude or say's no I would be tempted to bottle him in the head...but I'm working on that. 
I have other personal goals for myself that are not centred on just a romantic relationship that I'm also looking to achieve and also I look forward on achieving things that I didn't even consider or think about!

So I am telling you all, if you haven't written down your goals for this year there's no time like NOW and dream BIG! Don't put a limit on what you want to achieve this year, don't second guess yourself and have a long hard think about it. Don't worry if after you've written them down you change your mind or what to add more make a mental note of them! I find there is nothing more motivating than seeing what you want to achieve in your own handwriting or whatever art form you see fit depending on what type of creative person that you are! 

I placed on my Facebook and Instagram that if you need someone to keep you accountable for your goals this year I would be glad to do that! Sometimes it takes that encouraging person and trust me I will be on your back and front to make sure that you feel supported! 

I wanted to share some good news with you to kick off 2016! 

I have been entered into the UK Blog Awards under the "Dating" category, public voting opens tomorrow so I need you, your mother, brother, sister, uncle and aunty to vote for Vex In The City I will be giving you guys the details tomorrow how to vote for me I really appreciate it!

By the way.. don't forget to subscribe to my blog, the subscription box is on this blog as well as my website! Plus my other social media platforms to see my rage on a regular basis!  
SNAPCHAT: Deliarene

Feel free to comment below! 

Kisses and Bumflicks xx 


  1. Soooo im sitting at home with my dressing gown on chicken n roast potatoes in the oven and macaroni cheese in the grill just toasting the top and i felt like it was a great time to sit down and have a read of your blog while i have a snuggle with the babies. And as always its the very best i look forward to more. And i promise to never just like a blog after reading it but to leave a personal comment always and forever. It might take me a while to reply as i dont have much time to myself but i will make it a priority as it is 2016 and i have always loved a good read. Glad you enjoyed coming into the new year kisses and bumflicks xxxx

    1. Lol you crack me up! Babe that is what I'm here for to be honest and entertaining as much as I can be! Thank you so much for taking the time to even write a comment it seriously has made my night! But more importantly I look forward to all the things that YOU look to achieve this year for yourself and I'm here whenever you need me! xx

  2. A pleasure to read as always.... NYE was epic for me thanks in part vexinthecity & I enjoy many more fun times to come... Starting my penny challenge once I talk me thu it lol ....then to start my no dickstractions I'm very independent lady & tired of being a with to guys dat clearly can't b husbands.... 2017 no1 priorities me myself my son & mi ride or die friends. Thanks miss vex luv ur blog xxx

    1. Haha you made nye epic and I will keep the video evidence forever! You are awesome and now it's about you and everything else will fall in place hun I know it!

  3. Hey Delia.

    I've just discovered your blog (through No Bull Blog School FB page) and was chuckling away with no Dickstractions resolution for 2016:). Cool concept!

    Just wanted to say that I'm turning 34 this year ( whoa, how did this happen:)) and have been single for last...I think its 3 years now... I was seriously doing the dating obligation for couple of years but at moment I feel its all about me. Not to say I wouldn't like to meet someone- I hope it will happen when its time.

    But I don't think meeting someone can be a goal as such- and I have tried! Don't seem to be working with creating new friendships either;having it as a goal.

    So I will join you with no Dickstractions for 2016:). I might try a bit of dating again..perhaps without relationship as a goal in mind.

    I will definitely have a go at writing down some other goals:)


    1. Hi Annika that's so great that you enjoyed the blog! Firstly do NOT watch your age I am not far behind you trust me!
      And you are right meeting someone shouldn't be a goal because like yourself I am now forcing myself to forget those mistakes they've driven me to the bottle many times!
      Glad you are joining me on my no Dickstractions motto for this year and meet new people and make new friendships because it's all about happiness at the end of the day!!!
      I hope all your goals that you've written down come into fruition this year and let me know how it turns out!