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Monday 20 May 2013

Hold On... Or Let Go?

It's funny when you look in things retrospect that you learn alot. Going through certain things in a relationship / friendship purely out of emotion whether it be you being upset or wanting to slap the crap out of somebody it's always important to reflect upon it. But one thing I've realised that you must ALWAYS learn something when exiting a relationship.

Whether it be where you went wrong, he went wrong, what you should have done better to be honest the list is endless but one really important thing is when to realise to let someone go.

I know that not everyday is a bed of roses and Baileys truffles when in a relationship, because let's be honest... a relationship is HARD WORK sometimes. It comes like a second full time job because if you're not putting 100% into it then you shouldn't be in a relationshn the first place.

Not everyday you're going to lovingly look at your partner and think to yourself "how lucky I am to have you my beloved" this isn't no Boons & Mills romance novel ain't nobody got time for that.

I'll be real there were times when my ex was sleeping beside me I would slap him in the forehead or kick him and act like I was sleeping (don't judge me) there will be times when your partner annoys the HECK out of you.

BUT you have to question how happy you truly are within the relationship and if this relationship is worth fighting for and working on.

We all know after the honeymoon period, the dates and sweet text messsages that your partner uses to lure you into a relationship that it becomes pretty much routine. However people often question
 
"how do I know when the relationship is over?"


I would say the same feeling you get when you want to enter a relationship is when you will know to exit it as well. The relationship is not going to last if it's only you making an effort, forgetting about your own happiness because you're concentrated so much on there's when it's not being reciprocated?

I've seen time and time again and even in my own past relationships when a person becomes too damn comfortable in a relationship last time I checked my name wasn't "settee" so if you think that you can sit back and do nothing you will be rudely surprised! When a person becomes comfortable they can some up with a presidential speech of how they will change, their feelings for you and not wanting to lose you blah blah (rolls eyes, yawns and munches on a Jaffacake) but we all know words are nothing without action live Olivia Pope said to Fitz "IF YOU WANT ME, EARN MEEEEE" (yh I'm a huge Scandal fan!)

You have every right to give them a chance because unfortunately us women have that annoying thing called "false hope" where we believe our man will turn into Prince Charming and you'll ride off on a white horse into the sunset ... now sometimes men do fix up and realise that if they truly don't want to lose you then things need to change but if this doesn't happen that YOU need to decide on when you've have enough and to let the person go .

At the end of the day you are their partner NOT their parent, you can't teach them everything in life. Last time I checked no child came out of my vagine so I don't have time to be babying no grown ass man (yeah I said THAT).
There are times when we don't acknowledge the things our partner does for you, it's impossible to we're not kids that can have a star chart on the fridge and reward positive behaviour. But if you feel in your gut that you're not getting the love and respect that you deserve then the worst thing you can do is be quiet about it, men are NOT mind readers they can't even do two things at the same time so what makes you think he will know what your feeling?

If you feel that you have tried your best, you've been patient enough, you've had "that" conversation time and time with your partner and all your getting is the same shoulda,woulda,couldas from them and you're truly fed up then you need to be adult enough to say to your partner that the relationship isn't working.

Does it hurt to let someone you like/love go HELL YEAH ! But after several bottles of wine, talks with your close friends, oh and the most important thing time you realise that you made the right decision. Your happiness IS important and if your partner isn't handling business like they're supposed to then you need to hand them their p45!

Everyone make sure you check out my homie's blog www.inthemidstofthenoise.tumblr.com

ALSO! Thursday 16th May was the premiere of the Unfamous Online Series which is a teen drama written by my homegirl @ScottyUnfamous on her books "The Unfamous" the first episode will be out on Thursday until then check out the supertrailer! You don't want to miss it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IATDaCrALjo


Kisses and Bumflicks x x x




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