Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Ain't Nobody Got Time For YOU

One thing that nevers ceases to amaze me is the whole make-up/breakup dynamic of a relationship. Some we can see come from a LONG way off so you're not surprised if two people get together or break up,on the other hand some hit you like a truck in your face that you didn't see coming.
That's the thing about emotions and feelings for someone and we as human can be so indecisive or think we know it all but when faced with something we soon realise we don't know jack.

When it came with one of my breakups I saw it coming from a mile off, I was like the Oracle because I knew how I felt and that I wasn't feeling the relationship and was emotionally and physically tired of the B.S but I didn't know a dimplomatic and nice way of finishing the relationship.
There is never a nice way to tell someone
 "I've had enough, you get on my damn nerves, I don't feel the same way for you as I did before and I would rather be single then put up with your drama and headache for another day...but I wish you the best in life"

I tried it all with this guy I gave him the silent treatment (which for me is a huge task because I only stay quiet when I'm angry or tired and in this case I was both), had that make or break conversation with him several times and as many times he promised that he would fix up and just bare with him, things would get better for a minute and then go back to the same old crap that it was before and the only person I really wanted to uppercut was myself for even allowing him to get another chance.

That is the worst thing ever, being mad at your damn self because you can't blame anyone else for the stupid decisions that you made and the feelings that you have. My girls would often say to me why am I staying if I'm not happy and I would convince myself that not every relationship has you both skipping down the yellow brick road with sunshine and flowers and to get good things sometimes you have to go through the rough. Now as much as this is true, because let's be real you're rarely going to have a fairytale Disney relationship where you feel happy everyday like your both on drugs, if you really study all the Disney films all them women went through some CRAP before they got their Prince Charming whether it be their bad mind over bearing step moms and sisters, juju being put on them to change them into a next species, having to kiss Shreks or frogs because they're indirectly teaching the young kids that if you want that life you need to work for it!

Anyway back to the point in hand eventually after several glass of wine and him pushing me to my limit I ended the relationship. Did I feel bad? HELL NO because I had honestly tried 110% with him and giving him several chances and it's never going to work if your partner isn't doing the same. You can't make it work for both of you ain't nobody got time for that!

We often think that if we commit 100% even when we know that he/she isn't stepping up, appreciating you and following through with what they need to do after a while they'll fix up. But what do you when they don't? I've said it before and I'll say it again a person will only get away with as much as you allow him too, so you eventually need to make a choice but some avoid that choice like a plague because you don't want to feel like your giving your partner an ultimatum or treating them like a child.
But if it walks like a child, talks like a child, and behaves like a child then you need to push them out quicker than diarrhoea.
So often men will be like "I'm a grown man I do what I want to do" but when you ask them "why can't you do what you promised me that you would" they don't have nothing to say or they come with some wack ass explanation, and you KNOW it's wack but yet you say nothing. By you saying nothing you're actually enabling such idiotic behaviours and the way you treat you.

Stop being the 3 strikes kind of person this isn't Baseball this is real life, if you didn't learn the FIRST time how to come correct and treat someone then you need to go face the wall and read a book, ask your mum or something because I don't have the time or patience to teach you!

I've seen people that are so scared to be alone that they would rather put up with cheating,lying,disrespect you name it then have the guts to kick their partner to the curb and down the street! I'd rather be a fool alone then be a fool FOR someone (ohh let me break into a praise dance for that one), and you can talk that brave talk to your friends about "he/she is getting on my last nerve I swear I'm done with them I can't take no more" yet several weeks later you're STILL with the same person? Oh guess you're not really done then are you?
Even worse is you complain about everything that's wrong to your girls and offload all your emotions and frustrations onto them when last time I checked my name isn't Chris and I'm not one that you're in the relationship with. Because I can't nothing about your relationship all I can do is lend a ear and offer my advice but after a while if I see you're not listening the conversation will usually go:

Vexy: Hello?
Shantel: Hey...(sigh)
Vexy: What's wrong with you now?
Shantel: It's the same thing as always Chris, he doesn't take me out, spend time with me & even when he does it's like he don't want to be here or he'll make an excuse and leave! I call him he won't answer but I see he's tweeting away, he's liking all these girls pictures on Instagram, he spends more times with his boys than he does me, and when he needs me I'm always there & when comes over I cook for him & everything!
Vexy: Have you told him this?
Shantel: I've tried sooo many times but I don't know how to say it
Vexy: The same way you're telling me now, you've been complaining about this for a while and you're clearly not happy so why are you with him for?
Shantel: Because...
Vexy: Because what? You can't complain that he doesn't take you out and spend time with you yet you're in the kitchen cooking for him like your name is Celie! You do more for him than you should be he's too damn comfortable
Shantel: But I love him
Vexy: Yeah and he sounds like he loves himself

Now you already know that some females don't like when you tell them the complete truth, I'm so lucky to have the close women in my life that I do because when they keep it 150% real with me, I add the extra 50% because I'm stubborn as hell (yeah I can admit it).

But needless to say I'm glad that I finished that relationship when I did because now I have the time and energy to concentrate on my damn self & he can exit stage right & do whatever he likes because gladly he is no longer my business!!

Kisses & Bumflicks



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